So it was a really long week. Had a fabulous time picking out $1200 worth of gorgeous flowers at the wholesale market to adorn the church for Easter Sunday and then spent the next eight hours with my "team" making the most stunning arrangements.
Sunday I really meant to get up and go to the Sunrise Service at 6 am, but yeah...that didn't work out so much. I woke up at 5:30, said a quick "sorry Jesus" and went back to sleep. I had already spent an hour keeping vigil at 2:30 am on Friday morning and I was just too damn exhausted.
Finally made it there at 8:30, helped set up for our Easter breakfast, cleaned up after and then had to usher. It was a packed house.
I kept thinking that Jesus has one last supper and I get to have like 20! Oh yeah - I'm taking full advantage of the time between now and surgery. I've ordered pizza, had Chinese, sushi, Thai noodles, umpteen glasses of wine, and anything you can put cheese on.
Two weeks before surgery it'll be nothing but protein shakes, chicken and veggies, so might as well get it while the getting's good.
Monday met up with a friend and had a couple of really yummy beers and caught up. Hadn't seen her in a while. She was passing on a ticket to see Shrek-the Musical. Highly recommend for those with with kids. I mean, I enjoyed it, but could really see how a kid would be enthralled. Saw that on Tuesday at The Fox. Similar genre to The Paramount in Austin.
Smoking has been the big challenge. Giving up caffeine was actually way easier than I thought...but the old rush of smoke filling the lungs is the hard one. I keep saying 'tomorrow' and then freaking out and buying another pack. Totally sucks.
I'm driving to Tuscaloosa tomorrow to visit a dying aunt and know I'll blow through a pack in the car, so not even trying to kid myself about that one. Maybe Sunday :)
Am so pleased that every time I share what I've decided to do, everyone is really happy and excited for me. And it seems everyone knows someone who has been through the procedure with positive results. I eventually quit looking at some of the blog sites because I've found a bunch of whiners. I feel bad for them, I truly do...but I think a lot of those people had very unrealistic expectations about how this one thing was going to change their lives. Yes, I think this will change my life - but only because I think I've done so much of the head work already. And probably more will be needed.
I keep having weird dreams about my ex. Not pleasant either. I'm sure this is my subconscious working out all sorts of underlying fears about boys - which is so much a part of why I'm here in the first place. But am just accepting it's all irrational and moving on.
In fact, I think it's ironic that the surgery date will be virtually 10 years to the day of my wedding. The last time I looked and felt truly beautiful. It's like a decade of recovering from that decision has lead to this one.
Oh - and I crack myself up! We had to get photos done for our church directory tonight. I was thinking how sad it was that I will hate the photo and then all of a sudden I decided to have fun with the idea. When you all get New Years cards from me next year that say 'hope next year is better than the last' you'll get the joke :)
Anyway - thanks for listening. Everyone has said 'keep me posted' so this seems like the easiest way to do it. And yes Stephanie...I did Google 'how to create a blog' moments after we hung up the phone. Much easier than anticipated!
T-25 and counting!
Cam
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