Thursday, July 7, 2022

Prologue

There's nothing like spending the night in an urban, city jail wearing nothing but a strait jacket to make one rethink their life choices.  That was me, not but four months ago.  After being arrested for a second DUI, I sat in an in-take of the Travis County Jail in Austin, TX.  I was blind drunk, ashamed, crazy worried that my husband had no idea where I was, and I was fucking mad as hell at the world.  I screeched my throat raw as I raged to the guards.  I NEED TO CALL MY HUSBAND! I yelled.  I HATE MY LIFE!  I screamed.  And then the kicker… wait for it…. "IF YOU DON'T LET ME USE THE PHONE, I WILL JUST TRY TO KILL MYSELF!!!!"  Funny that.  Prison guards really hate the suicidal ass-hats in jail.  Throws their shift into a whole other level of liability.  So off I'm trotted.  Strapped to a wheel-chair like Hannibal Lector, hood over my face and handcuffs on each limb of my body.  I really needed to get my shit together, post haste.  

Luckily for me, my father once put his arm around my shoulder and leaned into whisper, "Don't worry honey.  I know you're gonna figure things out one day."  I was forty.

He was right.  It only took me twelve and a half years to do so.

Now I plan to tell you how I did it.







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