Week 3.5

One of the things I have never been very good at is letting others know when I'm not at 100%.  This is one of those times.

It's not that I'm not doing well.  I mean, really - it's pretty incredible how far I've come.  But I'm an impatient sort.  Hell, isn't that part of the reason I had surgery?  So even though I've lost 22 pounds, I'm frustrated that I haven't lost more.  I've hit a plateau and been stuck there for the last 10 days or so.

Other than a couple of odd days last week, I've been getting up with Mrs. Kravits and walking about a mile and a half, making my high protein shake and limiting my carbs to relatively nothing compared to a month ago and I'm fucking stuck.  It doesn't seem fair. 

But when I had my first post-op doctors appointment last week, the doc said I was doing great.  So why don't I feel that way?  Is this a product of my microwave generation?  Am I destined to always look at the sluggish pace of real life?  I want to be skinny now! Instead, I get on the scale and look at the same number over and over again. 

I bypass the fact that I've already boxed up half my closet and donated it to the fat relatives of Mrs. Kravits; and beyond that I've gone down a bra size  - meaning I no longer have to snap my bras in front and then swing it around while I hop like a freaking pogo stick to get my boobs and the cups in alignment.  That should be a celebration in itself.  But no - I linger on the fact that I still can't wedge my feet into the new shoes I bought a month ago in anticipation of being thinner in my feet.  I still have a double chin.  And my sugar levels still seem to be at diabetic levels.  Much lower to be sure - but not eliminated.

On the other hand, I am trying my best to remain rational.  The good news is that the plateau lets my body catch up to the weight loss - meaning my skin has time to regroup rather than just sag like a kangaroo.

I get irrationally happy that I still poo everyday like a normal person.  No one likes to talk about poo - but it's a good thing when it happens.  It means your body is digesting like it should and eliminating waste.  It's not a topic people share over lunch, but I was always pleased that at 10 am I could count on a good 'deposit'.  I was told that might change after surgery...and happily I'm still on schedule.

I like seeing my jawline for the first time in years.  I like putting on shorts I bought 3 years ago and being able to zip them up.  And I love the fact I was in better shape than my dog as we climbed the big hill behind my house for the first time last week. 

Two weeks ago I was feeling so over the moon happy I bought a new car.  It was such a girly reason too.  It was basically because I never like the orangy-red metallic color of the last car. and for once in my life, I owed less on a used car than it was worth.  So I was bored after church and didn't feel like going home.  Instead I went to the Kia dealership and test drove the rat-mobile (Kia Soul).  I fell in love immediately and didn't even bother to try and hide it.  Of course they sent me home with it (the beauty of being a buxom blue-eyed red-head with a Persion dealer!).  The next day they came withing $50 of my current payments and I signed the papers.  I should have negotiated a bit more, but I still got a pretty good deal.  I think the last time I had a brand new car was when I was 21.  I believe I was due.  Granted, the sales agent asked how I was feeling - and I said "scared".  He said "why are you scared?"  To which I replied: "Because I'm 41 years old and I've never made a decision without the approval of my parents.  If I tell them, I'm so grounded!"  So Whit or Rebel...if you read this - just keep your mouth shut.  You don't have to lie...but I doubt anyone will be asking a direct question on this topic.  And if you just can't help yourself (Rebel) - ultimately I broke even.  Insurance and gas consumption went down and I have a better warranty to boot.

Additionally, the last couple of weeks have been especially stressful as my company is going through a massive reorganization.  The boss that I love is leaving, but seems to be replaced with an equally cool Brit.  Others though are bailing, taking advantage of a very nice settlement package - leaving my team a bit in flux.  And while I am happy to be ensured of my job, I will miss some of the people I have worked with for the last two years.  Amazing how I have a knack for picking industries with overwhelming competition to survive.  Let's hope Nokia will find the wherewith all to get through this. Without this job, and the people supporting me - I might never have come this far.

Hope this updates everyone!

Cam